The Return Of Master Cuchi's Your Kung Fu is Weak thread

[Raoul Duke]

*Is doing Karate Katas, naked with nothing but a head band on and Timberlands* KYA!!! Oh hello I didn't see you there. You're probably wondering where I been, well I've been doing Kung Fu in the mountains, Karate Katas in the ocean, muay thai kicking palm trees down, trying to chop rocks in half with me bare hands, meditating under water falls, and discovering the ancient and deadly art of the Dim Mak (death touch) Kung Fu. Now while I cannot reveal the secrets of death touch Kung Fu, I can help you along the path to attain a level of Martial Arts Mastery that only a true Machismo Adonis Warrior like myself can achieve.

So for lesson one we start from the ground, niggas need to work on their kicks. So I'm gonna show you a kick that's tricky but fun to hit and very effective, its called the Brazilian Kick a.k.a the question mark kick a.k.a otoshi mawashi geri. Learn how to throw kicks to the balls then to the head, and the opponent will never know what hit him.

[Raoul Duke]

Now I fucks with many different arts, from the hard hitting punches of the sweet science to the science of sweet love making and cunnilingus, but if there's one style I truly enjoy its Wing Chun. Wing Chun is simple, but effective and teaches simultaneous offense and defense. This right here was one of the more defensive forms of Wing Chun called the Cham Kiu. In this style it focuses mostly on blocks and counter attack, so watch, learn, and improve your Kung Fu, nigga!!!!

[Raoul Duke]

Traditional Kung Fu is fun. Lots of crazy things going on there, chi flows, pressure points, iron shirt style, but if there's one thing I always like about traditional Kung fu its the animal styles. If there's one style that stands out from the rest it's snake fist kung fu. Why snake fist, maybe because I was always a fan of Five Deadly Venoms, maybe its cuz I think snakes are cool, maybe its just cuz I want to annihilate my enemies with precise strikes to pressure points that cause them to bleed internally and have the blood leak out their orifices. Anyway if you want to learn you some snake fist gung fu look no further.

[Raoul Duke]

*Is rolling with Ronda Rousey naked and flips her over and is in her guard, sweating and naked, moving in for the kiss then gets up when he sees you* Oh hello, didn't see you there, Ronda and I were just...sparring. Go on and get dressed beautiful, I'll see you later *Slaps Ronda on the ass as she walks away and she turns and smiles* Yeah, she's a handful but she teaches me judo and I'm amazing at cunnilingus so it all works out. Anyway here are some of the things that one of my side pieces has been teaching me. Learn to throw fuck bois through the earth and make the bitches wet with anticipation of what you'll do to them in the bedroom.

[Brujo]

Cuchi is a faggot, I hope he dies getting fucked by a Katana

[Raoul Duke]

Cuchi is a faggot, I hope he dies getting fucked by a Katana

Nigga Meng Wanna Die!?!??!?!

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